I HATE YOU!I hate that I had to spend all day with you instead of playing with my poor children and lazing in bed until 10:30. I loathe how you strip my day of fun activities and blog stalking.
I can't believe how you have brazenly turned my family to your evil ways. Even my 6 month old baby has contributed to your evil cause. How dare you. How do you sleep at night?
I'm pretty sure you don't have any friends. I have yet to hear a positive statement about you. Sure I burn a few calories, but I'd rather go on a walk. My whole life I have tried to escape you and find shortcuts away from you. But still you loom dark and dismal in all the corners of my home.
I hate that when I do spend all day long with you I should feel a sense of accomplishment, but instead I find your friends Dusting and Wall Washing and Corner Vacuuming laughing and pointing at me. You taunt me with your never-endingness.
I would rather pay someone to do you, but then I feel guilty.
I abhor how you wait for me to return from vacation, or work or shopping with open arms.
And when I spend all day in your throes, you trick me. You trick me because I forgot all about going to the grocery store to buy something to cook for dinner.
For Shame.
I declare WAR. No longer will I bend to your wicked will. Not war as in a proactive sort, but in a Ghandi/Martin Luther King Jr. passive war. I will close my eyes to you. I will pretend the garbage should be overflowing. I will ignore the smell coming from the sink.
You will not conquer my spirit.
I am done with you....
Until someone comes over.
Or Wes needs clothes for work.
Or my kids need a bath.
Yours in eternity whether I like it or not,
Kristine
P.S. tell your friend Dirty Diapers that just because he is attached to something so achingly adorable that doesn't make us friends either...
and he stinks
(TO: HOUSEHOLD CHORES, ESPECIALLY YOU LAUNDRY AND DISHES)
8 comments:
You are just hilarious!!! I love it. I feel like declaring war too! We just got back from a 4 day camp trip, and I came home unpacked and hoped to feel so accomplished. Instead, I found MORE TO DO. More Laundry, more dishes, more dirt on the floor... I say we band together and ignore together!!!
I love you! You are hillarious. I have doing house work too. Sometimes it makes me want to cry when I think about my life. It is is like Ground Hogs day. I relive it over and over and over. It doesn't matter how sparkling clean it is one day, the very next day it is a mess and I have to start over.
Good job at putting it into words we would all like to. I think I have complained about all of this in the last couple of days. Did you hear about Sister Hadfield's husband?
Jill Lindhardt
I laughed myself thoroughly silly over this! Where was it 40 years ago? I heard a cute saying once: cleaning house while children are growing, is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing! I have made the sad discovery that when there are only two of us, it still needs to be done and almost just as much! I do not at all ever want to live alone and find out that all the mess has come from ME!!!aaaaaaak!
Yes. Well put.
no war here, just ignore:)
Amen sister! I've totally been feeling the same way lately! It NEVER ends! Well, I guess until we die, but even then I'm not sure - we better not have to do chores, or I'm out!
Wow, well said Kristine. You should submit that to a magazine or something. Really really cute. And your new family pictures are so cute. I can't believe the spit up one. That is so funny. Cactus will love that when he's older!!!! Hope everything is going great!
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